As most young boys I really loved to play. I played in the snow, the sand, the mud, and the rain. I played with G.I. Joes, with cars, with planes, and with bikes. I rarely remembering being without a friend to play with, be it girl or boy, growing up.
Like most kids when I was playing, the last thing I wanted to do was go home to use the washroom. Being a boy, I was lucky because I was able to go pretty much anywhere to pee, but when it came to the #2 duty I couldn't just drop it. I would have to leave my friends, the fun and make the long or short trip home to use the toilet. Mentally this was a momentous task and one I rarely achieved. Instead, I would decide not to sacrafice the time with my friends. I would tighten every muscle in my body and keep the brown snake at bay. This way I was able to enjoy all my time as a kid with my friends instead of on the throne.
Amazingly sometimes the snake would sneak a peak and I would punish it with a swift Guillotine... enough said. I guess as the day progress these little nuggets would dry out and stay trapped in the valley. Eventually the day would end and I would need to go home for dinner. It would be at these times that I would notice something strange in my under pants. I remember clearly going #1, and feeling something rolling around. Being a boy, I wouldn't just pull down my underwear and grab the freedom fighter, but would wiggle the nugget into my pants and shake my leg. In excitement I would feel the nugget making it's way down my pant leg and make it's grand appearance rolling on the bathroom floor like a model making her way onto the runway. I remember contemplating the day, trying to determine the exact moment I created the nugget.
After the model strutted it stuff, I would quickly grab it with my hand, put it in toilet paper, and deposit it into the watery grave.
As I sit here typing this, I never remember actually washing my hands after these little adventures. I guess this never hurt me since I am telling you the story!!
**No Brown Snakes were harmed in the making of these Nuggets**
I know the feeling. When one plays hard, all other things are secondary. Needing to sit down for a minute takes way to much time. Then comes the paper work and a lack of paper work causes other issues as we saw with the male stripper email. So in conclusion, is that why you lack in skills when it comes to the paper work. Your paper work did indeed improve as the LEED coordinator. How did you find the time for that? Anyway those little brown nuggets look very familiar as I think we saw them at Mile High this year? Would you be recycling them as part of LEED knowledge?
ReplyDeletehahahahahahaha...oh Don! That was just way too funny! Another gold for you!! And uh...Dad? You make almost no sense.
ReplyDeleteThat is the story that made me first love you in 1997.
ReplyDeleteOh Don this is another priceless one. How does that mind or your's work anyway?
ReplyDelete