I woke up this morning at 4:30am. I dreamt that my son was acting like a bear so we made him live outside. I woke up sad by this dream. My heart ached at the thought of not being with my wife and kids. I can't wait for this to all be done.
Don
5.31.2010
5.30.2010
Crazy
I would like to start this blog by saying how proud I am of my wife for sticking to her 'Shred.' She has been working very hard and consistant. I am thankful for her words of encouragement at times when I feel things are not going to come together. Thanks Angie and I love you!
I never realized that you could actually cause yourself to go crazy. Not with drugs but by constantly having your own voice in your head. The same voice that cause me to write this blog. It can motivate me or cause me to be lazy. It reminds me of things I need to do and sometimes causes me to laugh. But there are times I wish I could shut it down, turn it off, or put it on mute. I believe this is the reason I like to go to bed, because the voice stops talking. Here are some things my voice in my head says that causes me to go crazy:
- Sometimes on the subway the power goes out briefly and my mind will say, "I wonder how much money that saved the TTC?"
-I walked up to the subway platform today and watched the subway pull away. No body was there. My mind said, "I must have just missed it?" Thanks for the obvious!
-My mind always argues between a double/double or a regular.
-Everytime I walk under a certain tree my mind always reminds me how much I like that tree.
-Everytime I walk under another tree my mind always tells me how I don't like that tree.
After a year of talking to myself, in my mind, I am starting to get very tired. I could only imagine what it would be like to live in complete isolation. Lost in the mountains, on a deserted island, or in a jail cell.
I am driving myself crazy.
I never realized that you could actually cause yourself to go crazy. Not with drugs but by constantly having your own voice in your head. The same voice that cause me to write this blog. It can motivate me or cause me to be lazy. It reminds me of things I need to do and sometimes causes me to laugh. But there are times I wish I could shut it down, turn it off, or put it on mute. I believe this is the reason I like to go to bed, because the voice stops talking. Here are some things my voice in my head says that causes me to go crazy:
- Sometimes on the subway the power goes out briefly and my mind will say, "I wonder how much money that saved the TTC?"
-I walked up to the subway platform today and watched the subway pull away. No body was there. My mind said, "I must have just missed it?" Thanks for the obvious!
-My mind always argues between a double/double or a regular.
-Everytime I walk under a certain tree my mind always reminds me how much I like that tree.
-Everytime I walk under another tree my mind always tells me how I don't like that tree.
After a year of talking to myself, in my mind, I am starting to get very tired. I could only imagine what it would be like to live in complete isolation. Lost in the mountains, on a deserted island, or in a jail cell.
I am driving myself crazy.
5.29.2010
Consuming
I am musing over the idea that school is going to end. That seems to be my consuming presents at the moment. Everyday it seems to sit on my shoulders and whisper into my ears. I do think about biking, and homework also, but most the time it is about school being done and going home.
5.27.2010
Stuffed
OK... I am stuffed. Not with food but with school learning. I have officially lost the push for new and higher learning. Many have asked if I am going to go on to get my bachelors, or even become a DDS and I simply say, "No." I understand that I haven't learnt everything there is to learn and when I do read a textbook or paper I still grab valuable information from the pages, but as for the whole school thing, I am cooked, finished, medium-rare,... Stuffed! This doesn't help with my additude towards doing my work because, I simply do it because I have to. Clinic is a different story... I do that, also because I have to, but because I love working with my clients. I have set a goal for the end of June, that I will be finished most of my client evals. So that July will just be mopping up the left overs and practicing for real life. Sometimes I do feel stress but I have to always inform. myself to take one day at a time.
A sad situation happened today at school. One of our friends and classmates was dismissed from school and will not be returning. It is sad because she had made it so far, is smart, and a fun person, but due to continuous situations that happened throughout her time at the school, the school felt that it was time to do something. I do not elaborate on it more because I do not know the full story and wish not to feel I do. No matter what the situation she will be missed around school.
A sad situation happened today at school. One of our friends and classmates was dismissed from school and will not be returning. It is sad because she had made it so far, is smart, and a fun person, but due to continuous situations that happened throughout her time at the school, the school felt that it was time to do something. I do not elaborate on it more because I do not know the full story and wish not to feel I do. No matter what the situation she will be missed around school.
5.23.2010
Puncture my Food, I'm going Riding.
Today. A beautiful sunny day. Hot Hot Hot. I woke up early to grab a bite and got my stuff ready for the ride. I chose to go riding instead of church. I felt energetic and left the house around 8am. The night before I fixed my rear tire with the only good tire tube I had left and kept the old one as back up, incase I got a flat and needed to limp my bike home. I was almost to the meeting place and sure enough I hit something and heard that wonderful noise of air whistling out of my back tire. I pulled off the road, changed the tube and put in the old one. I new at this point that my nice long 100km ride was over before it fully began. On my way back my back end swung around because of the lack of air the tube would hold. I was almost home when the hole in that tube became wider and all the air came out of that one. I carefully rode my bike the rest of the way so that I wouldn't damage my rim. I decided it was time to buy new tires and tubes. The tubes because I had nothing left and the tires because my old ones couldn't hold up to driving over anything without getting a puncture. Luckily MEC has fairly good stuff at a economical price. The funny thing is I decided to pick my bike over my food for this week. I looked at what I have and believed I will be able to ration it for the week. I guess it is called the student/bike diet.
5.20.2010
Violence Against Men
I'm looking out a window. It is actually 6 windows lined up in perfect alignment. The air is muggy and the sun has darted behind a small cloud. I am relaxed. My pulse today was a low 57 Bpm.
I am on the couch with the laptop on my lap. What a crazy notion that I actually have the computer where the name recognizes it has having a home. I hope it doesn't cause me to go sterile. I don't have to worry about that. After a year of deliberating my friendly specialist back home beat my laptop to the crotch.
I plan to go to the top of the world tomorow. Not sure how I'm going to get there but I'm sure it will be a splendid trip. I always hated that feeling of stepping in dog crap and having it slither in between my toes. I hope that doesn't happen tomorrow.
While at lunch today a large group of college or high school kids walked by holding signs and waving banners. They looked absolutely crazy dressed up in civilian clothes. They were marching to stop 'violence against men.' I didn't realize that this was going on, but since the O.J. Simpson murder trail, statistics has shown that violence against men has rose by 20%. I wonder why this hasn't hit the news! What kind of world are we living in when men are getting beaten down my their women and no one is listening. I remember a time when my wife, with the grace of God, told me she wished to hurt me baddly, but held herself back. Our two kids would have been mere thoughts because the tool would have been broken.
I am on the couch with the laptop on my lap. What a crazy notion that I actually have the computer where the name recognizes it has having a home. I hope it doesn't cause me to go sterile. I don't have to worry about that. After a year of deliberating my friendly specialist back home beat my laptop to the crotch.
I plan to go to the top of the world tomorow. Not sure how I'm going to get there but I'm sure it will be a splendid trip. I always hated that feeling of stepping in dog crap and having it slither in between my toes. I hope that doesn't happen tomorrow.
While at lunch today a large group of college or high school kids walked by holding signs and waving banners. They looked absolutely crazy dressed up in civilian clothes. They were marching to stop 'violence against men.' I didn't realize that this was going on, but since the O.J. Simpson murder trail, statistics has shown that violence against men has rose by 20%. I wonder why this hasn't hit the news! What kind of world are we living in when men are getting beaten down my their women and no one is listening. I remember a time when my wife, with the grace of God, told me she wished to hurt me baddly, but held herself back. Our two kids would have been mere thoughts because the tool would have been broken.
5.19.2010
Like
So today like... I was like riding my bike ... and the sun was out and like there were cars and people outside. Crazy like that, I went to school and was like Wow~! Then I like remembered the time when Professor B. Fuller was like driving and didn't say anything. That was like way cool. It was like we were in some sort of like crazy face different time zone, yet we were like in the same car. I looked over at the Profess. and he was like glichin' out because the signal was way weak. He verballized like his thoughts and said, "I am ignoring you." I was like ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I get it. You're like trying some tripped out experiment on me and I totally like not getting it. He said, "yap."
So like we continued to drive like for so long until my bladder was stretchen to the max and the Profess was like way tired out off his mind.
Like thee End Man!
So like we continued to drive like for so long until my bladder was stretchen to the max and the Profess was like way tired out off his mind.
Like thee End Man!
5.17.2010
Defeated
I would love to say, "My day was great. Everything was perfect." But today was not one of thoses. I sarted out the day with great optimism. But when I got off the subway my optimism quickly faded to defeat. My client called and said he wouldn't be able to make it because he was sick. I wouldn't have been so upset, except for the fact that another client cancelled last minute on Friday morning and then the client I had booked for Friday afternoon didn't even show up with no phone call. Luckily one of my other clients was able to come in Friday afternoon, but this morning not one I called was able to come in.
The second half of my day was nicer. I did a full mouth series of radiography and got them evaluated. I was concerned about this because the Dentist first saw them, and asked, "are they for evaluation because they don't look good?" I was able to convince him that I had captured all the areas I needed and so he gave me a 'complete' for the x-rays.
In the most part I may feel stressed but I don't feel defeated, but today I did.
The second half of my day was nicer. I did a full mouth series of radiography and got them evaluated. I was concerned about this because the Dentist first saw them, and asked, "are they for evaluation because they don't look good?" I was able to convince him that I had captured all the areas I needed and so he gave me a 'complete' for the x-rays.
In the most part I may feel stressed but I don't feel defeated, but today I did.
5.15.2010
Downtown Burrito
I went downtown to get groceries and get out of the house. I walked all over downtown, didn't get groceries, but had a really good bean and cheese burrito with everything in it. It was awesome!!!
5.14.2010
5.12.2010
Our Bond by the River
It was late summer and the river waters were low. Today was the day Professor B. Fuller and I would go and collect our riches from the stream. We did this on a regular bases, hiding our treasure in the hills above a dry B.C. city, because we didn't want our ladies to love us for our money.
As we walked up the river, Professor B. Fuller pulled out his scientifically proven tuning fork, cell phone, and a bag of trail mix. "This is it," he stated in a proud, calm voice. "I envisioned this place at the exact moment Lis' was taking my picture for the millionth time. The flash propelled me into a deminsion of space and time I call, "Blind." We made our way through the snake invested bushes and zip lined across the river to our place of destiny. When we arrived I remember stating to the Professor, "Wow, that trail mix is good."
We slung off our packs and set up our stools. Being men of science we always set ourselves up at least 15 feet away from eachother. Professor B. Fuller said, "this way we don't scare the treasure away and our magnetic forces will not cause us to tumble into a worm hole." More trail mix flew into my mouth.
Shovel after shovel we panned the life out of the sand and rock. The snuffer container was filling rapidly with our treats and the sun decreased behind the valley hills. Occassionally the Professor and I would move locations, but the results were always the same. Sometime the noise of the river was broken by the verbal intriguing thought of B. Fuller. "Did I ever tell you about my cats?" he said. Uhhhh... well I have seen you with them but go on. "It was nearly 7:00pm and the little fellers had come in for the night. I, (B. Fuller), was in my lab working on a new drink which combined both caffiene and tobacco, when I decided my mind hurt so it was time to enter my domain. The living room was empty but I heard the giggling and high pitched tonne of my lady in the kitchen. She was calling the cats. To my horror she had the cats on the counter and a litre worth of yogurt spread on two plates. I quickly jumped in saving my babies from a night of bowel problems. My sweet lady didn't understand way I was upset, so I pulled out my best selling book called, "My Dancing Cats and their Sensitive Bowel Syndrome," and read to her as she gazed in loving amazement at me. "Wow," I said. "That sounds like it was a really romantic night?! I think you should write a romantic book for all those people looking for ideas." Professor B. Fuller responded with a chuckle and the air returned to the sound of the river.
After filling our minds with memories, our bellies with mix, and our snuffer with treasure we decided it was time to disrupt the space/time continuum and head for caffiene. It was at this moment that we realized we were not alone. The Canadian Governement had sent out it's top spy to keep an eye on us. Lucky for us this spy wasn't really good. The buck toothed, leather tailed spy swam right in front of us and stopped by Professor B. Fuller for a chat. With click-clacks, and the odd bum shake, Professor B. navigated his way through the linguistic relm of the spy. In shock I screamed, "Wow." The conversation ened and the creature made his way up the river.
As we walked back to the G8 Rocket, I asked the Professor what he said to the spy. He said, "I told the creature that I had seen his Dad as a hat in the city of Ottawa. The spy said he would never bother us again."
"Wow, that trail mix was good."
As we walked up the river, Professor B. Fuller pulled out his scientifically proven tuning fork, cell phone, and a bag of trail mix. "This is it," he stated in a proud, calm voice. "I envisioned this place at the exact moment Lis' was taking my picture for the millionth time. The flash propelled me into a deminsion of space and time I call, "Blind." We made our way through the snake invested bushes and zip lined across the river to our place of destiny. When we arrived I remember stating to the Professor, "Wow, that trail mix is good."
We slung off our packs and set up our stools. Being men of science we always set ourselves up at least 15 feet away from eachother. Professor B. Fuller said, "this way we don't scare the treasure away and our magnetic forces will not cause us to tumble into a worm hole." More trail mix flew into my mouth.
Shovel after shovel we panned the life out of the sand and rock. The snuffer container was filling rapidly with our treats and the sun decreased behind the valley hills. Occassionally the Professor and I would move locations, but the results were always the same. Sometime the noise of the river was broken by the verbal intriguing thought of B. Fuller. "Did I ever tell you about my cats?" he said. Uhhhh... well I have seen you with them but go on. "It was nearly 7:00pm and the little fellers had come in for the night. I, (B. Fuller), was in my lab working on a new drink which combined both caffiene and tobacco, when I decided my mind hurt so it was time to enter my domain. The living room was empty but I heard the giggling and high pitched tonne of my lady in the kitchen. She was calling the cats. To my horror she had the cats on the counter and a litre worth of yogurt spread on two plates. I quickly jumped in saving my babies from a night of bowel problems. My sweet lady didn't understand way I was upset, so I pulled out my best selling book called, "My Dancing Cats and their Sensitive Bowel Syndrome," and read to her as she gazed in loving amazement at me. "Wow," I said. "That sounds like it was a really romantic night?! I think you should write a romantic book for all those people looking for ideas." Professor B. Fuller responded with a chuckle and the air returned to the sound of the river.
After filling our minds with memories, our bellies with mix, and our snuffer with treasure we decided it was time to disrupt the space/time continuum and head for caffiene. It was at this moment that we realized we were not alone. The Canadian Governement had sent out it's top spy to keep an eye on us. Lucky for us this spy wasn't really good. The buck toothed, leather tailed spy swam right in front of us and stopped by Professor B. Fuller for a chat. With click-clacks, and the odd bum shake, Professor B. navigated his way through the linguistic relm of the spy. In shock I screamed, "Wow." The conversation ened and the creature made his way up the river.
As we walked back to the G8 Rocket, I asked the Professor what he said to the spy. He said, "I told the creature that I had seen his Dad as a hat in the city of Ottawa. The spy said he would never bother us again."
"Wow, that trail mix was good."
5.09.2010
Happy Mother's Day from Ontario
I was trying to think of all the crazy Mother stories I have but instead decided to just write something pleasant and nice.
When I was a kid I always let my Mom sleep in. On Mother's Day I would make her pancakes and bacon, vacuum the house, and clean the bathroom. In the evening I would make a nice dinner of grilled chees sandwich, and then let her knit. I remeber the one year, we invited Mom out for Mother's Day brunch. Ev couldn't make it because she was sick. The food was super, but Mom didn't show up. Her and Papa decided to drive through the parking lot and leave. I guess they wanted to go and make out in a parking lot over looking the lake! : )
My Mom has pretty much everything... maybe next year I will get her another dog.
With Angie this is our seven year that she is classified as a Mom. I remember the one year I didn't do anything for her because I was under the idea that we didn't have much to spend on gifts for these days. I was wrong. I remember that night being enlighten to the understanding of feeling noticed, and appreciated. I never forgot that. So I always allow Ang to sleep in, while I sit with the kids, make breakfast, and give Angie a great massage to let her know I care.
Now the kids make the wonderful gifts and let Angie know how much they appreciate her. Maybe next year I can buy Ang another Willow Tree.
This is one day when I would not let my fear of Ev get the best of me. Lisa, Ben, Angie, and I always let Ev sleep in and relax. We plan a nice brunch or dinner, with the help of Erv, and let Ev do the dishes. She says it allows her to feel like she is still a Mother. On this day Ev doesn't get teased or bugged. The girls generally give her a mushy card and a lovely gift to the spa. This year I believe it would have been an amazing gift to get her a eye patch that had been Bejeweled. I think Ev would have dug that!!
This is Mother's day and I dearly wish I were there to celebrate the day with all of you. I hope you all enjoyed the day and were able to relax and enjoy the families!!
P.S. Some aspects of these stories may not be real!!
When I was a kid I always let my Mom sleep in. On Mother's Day I would make her pancakes and bacon, vacuum the house, and clean the bathroom. In the evening I would make a nice dinner of grilled chees sandwich, and then let her knit. I remeber the one year, we invited Mom out for Mother's Day brunch. Ev couldn't make it because she was sick. The food was super, but Mom didn't show up. Her and Papa decided to drive through the parking lot and leave. I guess they wanted to go and make out in a parking lot over looking the lake! : )
My Mom has pretty much everything... maybe next year I will get her another dog.
With Angie this is our seven year that she is classified as a Mom. I remember the one year I didn't do anything for her because I was under the idea that we didn't have much to spend on gifts for these days. I was wrong. I remember that night being enlighten to the understanding of feeling noticed, and appreciated. I never forgot that. So I always allow Ang to sleep in, while I sit with the kids, make breakfast, and give Angie a great massage to let her know I care.
Now the kids make the wonderful gifts and let Angie know how much they appreciate her. Maybe next year I can buy Ang another Willow Tree.
This is one day when I would not let my fear of Ev get the best of me. Lisa, Ben, Angie, and I always let Ev sleep in and relax. We plan a nice brunch or dinner, with the help of Erv, and let Ev do the dishes. She says it allows her to feel like she is still a Mother. On this day Ev doesn't get teased or bugged. The girls generally give her a mushy card and a lovely gift to the spa. This year I believe it would have been an amazing gift to get her a eye patch that had been Bejeweled. I think Ev would have dug that!!
This is Mother's day and I dearly wish I were there to celebrate the day with all of you. I hope you all enjoyed the day and were able to relax and enjoy the families!!
P.S. Some aspects of these stories may not be real!!
5.08.2010
Resting in a Strange Picture
Passion for writing is highly required. I fly from one subject to the next with no real linking factor. I wish to write a story, no about real life, no maybe a combination of life and fiction. I am not sure where it will go or what will come out.
The hill is green with a large oak tree situated half way up on the eastern slope. The clouds are scattered formations of greys, blacks, whites, and swirl as if blown by a giant Canadian Tire home fan. To the west of the hill is a small house in disrepair. Shrubs grow high, and cuddle the house to death. The siding was a brilliant blur of colours, but has faded to black due to long lost days of joy and play. Now it sits as a reminder of the residence that once occupied it's walls, rooms, and called it home. Over the hill is an expansion. Fields, trees, shrubs, and maybe even people. Venturing over brings the sense of work. So the picture remains the same. The days are gloomy on the hill. The clouds swirl and the house remains the same.
On occassion a strange resident comes out from underneath the hill. He is a rabbit. Have you seen the new "Alice in Wonderland?" If you have than you can also see the same rabbit. This rabbit sits by the oak, and remains motionless. His facial expressions are lacking and he says absolutely nothing. This is ok. The sense is he really doesn't need to say anything. He can come on his own and go when he pleases. The comfort comes from the surround area. From the house in ruins, the clouds swirling, and the tree on the hillside. That is all that can be seen.
The hill is green with a large oak tree situated half way up on the eastern slope. The clouds are scattered formations of greys, blacks, whites, and swirl as if blown by a giant Canadian Tire home fan. To the west of the hill is a small house in disrepair. Shrubs grow high, and cuddle the house to death. The siding was a brilliant blur of colours, but has faded to black due to long lost days of joy and play. Now it sits as a reminder of the residence that once occupied it's walls, rooms, and called it home. Over the hill is an expansion. Fields, trees, shrubs, and maybe even people. Venturing over brings the sense of work. So the picture remains the same. The days are gloomy on the hill. The clouds swirl and the house remains the same.
On occassion a strange resident comes out from underneath the hill. He is a rabbit. Have you seen the new "Alice in Wonderland?" If you have than you can also see the same rabbit. This rabbit sits by the oak, and remains motionless. His facial expressions are lacking and he says absolutely nothing. This is ok. The sense is he really doesn't need to say anything. He can come on his own and go when he pleases. The comfort comes from the surround area. From the house in ruins, the clouds swirling, and the tree on the hillside. That is all that can be seen.
5.04.2010
Dear Angie
Hello Hun,
The time is 9:30pm eastern time and I am exhausted. Last night I slept maybe 4 hours. The air was muggy and my mind was running over todays evaluations.
My client in the morning came in and I finished him all up. He was very nice. In the evening I had all my stuff ready for Diet Counselling, OHE, etc. But my client didn't come because she couldn't find a babysitter for her boy. I was disappointed, because I felt I could have got her treatment completed. I called my contacts and even asked some people in the lobby if they would like to have their teeth cleaned. But I had no takers.
On the way home I fell asleep on the subway. The kids should get their letters the beginning of next week. I mailed them off today because I forgot on Monday. I sure hope nobody tells them they are getting letters in the mail. They will be so surprised to get the mail and have something for them in it! :)
I did try contacting you on skype but you were not available. I hope you had a good day and are feeling better. I miss you and love! Please give the kids kisses for me and a hug.
I will talk to you Wednesday night when I am more awake and ready to tell you of all the fun things I have been up to. HAHAHA Like sitting in my room.
Love,
Don
The time is 9:30pm eastern time and I am exhausted. Last night I slept maybe 4 hours. The air was muggy and my mind was running over todays evaluations.
My client in the morning came in and I finished him all up. He was very nice. In the evening I had all my stuff ready for Diet Counselling, OHE, etc. But my client didn't come because she couldn't find a babysitter for her boy. I was disappointed, because I felt I could have got her treatment completed. I called my contacts and even asked some people in the lobby if they would like to have their teeth cleaned. But I had no takers.
On the way home I fell asleep on the subway. The kids should get their letters the beginning of next week. I mailed them off today because I forgot on Monday. I sure hope nobody tells them they are getting letters in the mail. They will be so surprised to get the mail and have something for them in it! :)
I did try contacting you on skype but you were not available. I hope you had a good day and are feeling better. I miss you and love! Please give the kids kisses for me and a hug.
I will talk to you Wednesday night when I am more awake and ready to tell you of all the fun things I have been up to. HAHAHA Like sitting in my room.
Love,
Don
5.01.2010
Haven't Been Missing
I haven't been missing, I just haven't felt like blogging. My brain hurts, and my motivation comes and goes. I believe I am actually feeling my own pressure. I realize this is my last semester and I don't want to screw up one thing. The simplest stuff is stressing me, yet I know how to do it! Any words of wisdom?
Even now I have lost the push to write this blog.
Something exciting is that Angie and I celebrated our 9 year Anniversary. Our 10 year will be even better because I won't be in Toronto. I look forward to a great time of just her and I.
Out for now...
Even now I have lost the push to write this blog.
Something exciting is that Angie and I celebrated our 9 year Anniversary. Our 10 year will be even better because I won't be in Toronto. I look forward to a great time of just her and I.
Out for now...
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