Chewy Stewy is Ohhh Sooooo Good!

Hi... this is where you will find me from now on. In approx. 2 hours I will deactivating my Facebook account for a vacation from the social media. Will I miss spying on my friends and typing silly messages for all to see... sure will. But I hope that this will give me the creativity to play more on here and type about life and go more indepth in detail.

This Saturday is an exciting one. First my family has decided to make it a home day, except for the chance of skating, and the Professor is coming over for some famous "Hamm Stew." I could see where the problem is in my last sentence but the fact is that Hamm is spelt write because it represents someones last name and the stew will have NO ham parts, or Hamm parts in it... hopefully! This actually reminds me of a trip the Professor and I took to the dry and dusty lands of Greenland. We were on our way to discover the true meaning of ice and its effect on the polar bear population when we got stranded on the sidce of the road in our 1977 Chevy Malibu. I looked over at the hairy Professor and he summed up our problems in 2 words, "No Gas." At that exact moment I let fly the rotteness stink you have every smelt and I said, "Got Gas." We laughed for 2 minutes and came back to the fact that we were lost, without fuel, and we forgot to tell anybody where we were going.
The land was dry and dusty but the ice was thick. After a couple days of playing crib and talking about the good old days we realized we had a 4 gallon container of the famous "Hamm Stew." The reason we had sooo much stew was because the disrespectful Janzen twins, and their evil father did not care for the carefully brewed, rightly seasoned stew that their sweet, loving, wise Mother had made for them. All they cared about was the selfish taste of the buds, and the deep seeded mockery in their hearts that they used to step on their Mother's good name.
Professor B. Fuller and I didn't hold this against them, but we used it for our own good. The next day we used the dry dirty land as a great sheet of blank paper and we calculated how much gas our bodies could produce by eating the stew. We enjoyed the stew and played with the volleyball that was in the trunk. As our body produced gas, we would deposit the precious commodity into the tank of the car. At night the Professor and I would sing songs like, "Toxic," by Brittney and songs by Justin Timberlake and Simon and Garfunkel. Our harmony became perfect and the polar bears would sit along the riverside and stare at us. We knew we were a hit.
The time finally arrived for us to drive ourselves back to our families. Instead of discovering the truth of ice and polar bears we discovered that we could power cars with farts, and that polar bears love really good singing by two white guys.

So this Saturday when you are eating the famous "Hamm Stew," I hope you remember the old ladies out there putting their hearts in to their cooking and how you can help to solve the problem of to much human gas by bumming up to your car and filling the tank with your precious gift of gas.