Out of Something: Snow Day Fun

This morning I woke up to snow on the ground and snow still falling from the clouds. I was overcome with such beauty, that I wondered how I could best show my love for the snow. I thought hard, and I thought long, then I drove the kids to the bus.

I came back and still had no idea so I watched the Global News and the Macy's Day Parade. Then it hit me!! What would crazy American's do?? They seem filled with excitement, joy and unabashed expression!

So I drank a glass of water, stood by the fire, and slowly took off every garment that touched my body. I was nervous, but took strength in the knowledge that I shower without cotton. I jumped to the door, grabbed the handle and ran into the precious white powder. But the feeling that this was not enough slipped into my thoughts. I had to do something more to show my great joy for the crystals so I performed the most natural, unashamed, creation known to man and woman. I created a perfect Snow Angel. The feeling of cold overwhelmed my skin and my mind filled with multiple colours and severe pain. Than the sound of snow hitting my body could be felt, it was like no other feeling. First it was light, than it progressed to larger thumps and cracks. This was odd because the snow around me was still falling from heaven lightly. I popped my head up and the perfect unadulterated moment between me and the snow became something ugly and embarrassing.

There on the mansion balcony was my mother in law yelling, “What in the world are you doing? God created the perfection of snow and you are turning it into a scary Stephen King movie.” I wasn’t sure what she meant by this, but I didn’t think this was the best time to ask. After our brief interaction I realized where the larger snowflakes were coming from. She packed it in her manicured hands and without blinking, threw that weapon of mass destruction right at me. I could be wrong but I think she was aiming at my strategic military base located in the no fly zone.

Realization kicked in quickly, that my addiction for the snow had overcome my sound judgement. I scrambled to the cabin, crying for mercy and forgiveness, and laid on the couch with the unending feeling of brain freeze pounding on my head and the gut wrenching feeling of, “how am I ever going to talk to my mother in law again!”